I am now a Detroit Lions fan.

Barry Sanders, wearing the throwback uniform of the Detroit Lions during the 1994 season.

I have decided to shift my main NFL allegiance from the 49ers to the Lions. What follows are 20 reasons I do so. (No giggling.)

1. My favorite player of all time, the greatest running back in history, Barry Sanders (see photo), played for the Lions.
2. I lived in the Detroit metro area for a short time (one of 3 NFL areas I lived in), so I can claim some proximity to the Lions.
3. They’re an old school team from the leather helmet days, and I tend to prefer to root for a team with some serious history.
4. They have the best throwback unis in the league (again, see photo), and have recently jettisoned their black jerseys in favor of the throwbacks.
5. They’re the only team with the balls to draft two consecutive Heisman winners (also the only team lousy enough to get to ;-). In fact, they’re the only team to have had five consecutive Heisman winners play for them.
6. They’re a cold-weather area team, which appeals to my summer hatred. I really hate hot weather.
7. Blue and silver are awesome colors. Two of my favorites.
8. I can cheer for ‘em now and never be accused of being a bandwagon fan.
9. They practically created the Thanksgiving game tradition and I LOVE Thanksgiving. And football.
10. One of my best friends is a Lions fan and pain like that should be shared.
11. Their merchandise is the most likely to be on clearance. And I do value a bargain.
12. Being a Lions fan is an adverse experience and adversity builds character.
13. I like cats (including big cats). Jaguars and Panthers are out because I tend not to like expansion teams. (See reason #3.)
14. The run-and-shoot offensive scheme was one of my favorite. The Lions were one of the most famous run-and-shoot teams.
15. My dad is a Packers fan, my mom likes the Vikings, and my brother is crazy for the Bears. What’s left in the NFC North? Lions!
16. Ford Field is awesome. Although it would be awesomer with a retractable roof as I like snow football.
17. George Plimpton.
18. I’ve seen my favorite teams in the NFL, NCAA, MLB, and NHL win it all (and my NBA team come close). Maybe some lowered expectations would do me good.
19. They had the good sense to draft a player with the same name as my favorite film director.
20. Because I said so.

These reasons are no more arbitrary than the ones you used to choose your teams.

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Good Friday, indeed.

Dig this:
1. God made us and he made the Rules. We sinned. Because we can. He created a son, his own flesh.
2. He manipulated people so that they would torture and kill that son. He resurrected the son. He claims it “had to be done” to wash away our sins. Because the Rules say so. The Rules he made up.
3. And you should be grateful, you sinful prick!

In other words:
1. He gave us a gift.
2. He assigned a value to that gift.
3. He wants to be repaid. Forever.

It’s as if someone barged into my house, handed me a sandwich I did not ask for nor necessarily wanted, and then started following me around yelling “YOU OWE ME. I TOTALLY GAVE YOU THAT SANDWICH, DUDE.” If it’s a gift, then how do I owe you shit?

The whole premise of Christianity rests on a dickhead who insists you owe him forever or he’ll kick your ass.

Popularity: 7% [?]

Friendly Mutton Chops.

This is my beard. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

Popularity: 100% [?]

Why a Beard?

Good question. Deserves a good answer. Here’s a few reasons for Why a Beard?:

1. It’s good for the environment.
2. Prominent historical scientists did it, and who are  you to out-think them?
3. It’s manly. (This is indisputable. But it only counts as an argument for beard growth if manliness is a desirable trait in your opinion.)
4. It makes more sense.
5. Beards make one look intellectual.
6. Because beardies are more fun than those shavies.
7. There is no good argument against bearding.

End of story.

Popularity: 20% [?]

Ponderance.

How can God exist everywhere all at once and somehow be completely unobservable?

If you assign no attributes to God, then how can he exist? If he has no shape, no form, no mass, no anything, how can he exist? And if you do define attributes and those attributes are completely unobservable, how can he exist?

Everything that exists by definition is observable in some way. Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 6% [?]